Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson is a self-help therapy book, which isn't my typical pick, but it was good. The book focuses on the developmental impacts of emotionally immature parents and, essentially, destigmatizes this experience and encourages the reader to change or remove expectations of their loved ones that will never be met. 

The book emphasizes that, although emotional interactions with parents, particularly as a child, should be about the child, many times they're not. This can lead to people feeling emotionally lonely (p26). The author asserts that "mutual emotional responsiveness is the single most essential ingredient in human relationships," (p39). 

Miscellaneous:

- The author says that sometimes, emotionally unaware people cannot control their emotions. An example of why this could be the case is that, instead of having a parents "squelch their distress, they never experienced the natural rhythm of a crying episode and how it winds down," (p76). 

- "Internalizers may feel emotionally nurtured as they resonate with the beauty of nature or art," (p175). 

- "How do you define a successful person?..I guess, first of all, you get rid of 'success'- and then you see who you are as a person," (p215).

- "Explicitly say what you feel or want and enjoy that act of self-expression, but release any need for the other person to hear you or change," (p235).

- "You may not ever have the kind of relationship you want with [your loved ones], but you can make each interaction with them more satisfying for you," (p270). "You're likely to find that your relationship with [your loved ones] becomes more tolerable as you relinquish the need for their emotional acceptance," (p275). 

- "Compromise doesn't mean mutual sacrifice; it means a mutual balancing of desires," (p287). 

Questions I found interesting: 

"What are you glad nobody knows about you? How would you describe the social role you try to play? How do you hope others see you? Which of your personality traits do you try to cover up?" (p200).